the poison rushes in. voluntarily rushes in. i do this to myself. but i do it for them.
i dont feel any different.
but everything is different. everything around me is different and my clothes are different and my job is different and my mind is different.
so why are we pretending nothing's changed
i could stop. start over. let it trickle out slowly like the last drops of honey reluctantly making their way towards the world. clear my system. ive done it before. nothing happened. but its different this time. the magnitude is marginally larger and i cannot predict the outcome.
i dont know what i am supposed to do.
